The verbally abusive relationship book

The Verbally Abusive Relationship Book by Patricia Evans – Verbal Abuse Official Information Site

the verbally abusive relationship book

25 quotes from The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond: 'In a verbally abusive relationship, the partner Rate this book. Looking for the book? We have the summary! Get the key insights in just 10 minutes. The Verbally Abusive Relationship book summary. Start getting smarter: . The Verbally Abusive Relationship has ratings and reviews. Katya said : This book blew my mind. It takes so much confusion out of human interact.

Frequently by putting her down and denying her experience.

the verbally abusive relationship book

In a verbally abusive relationship, the abuser and the partner tend to have different motivations. The abuser feels powerful and constantly trying to dominate, while the partner trusts the abuser and tries to cooperate.

A verbal abuser tells his partner what she thinks and feels, leaving no room for her own experience. He will likely explode in anger over nothing, then blame her for causing his outbursts.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship Quotes by Patricia Evans

When his partner tries to explain or defend herself, the abuse often worsens. Verbal abuse often goes hand in hand with physical abuse. Typically worsens over time, often turning into physical violence.

Research has shown that when one type of domestic violence is present in a household—psychological, sexual, or physical—the other two types can be expected as well.

Verbal abuse does more long-term psychological harm than physical abuse. Most victims themselves affirm this. Decreased self-esteem makes it even harder for the victim to cope with abuse or leave the abuser.

In male-female relationships, the man is the emotional abuser the vast majority of the time. Those who believe they are being abused should turn first to outside support from friends, family, or a therapist. Then, the victim needs to focus on paying close attention to her feelings and learning to trust them. A verbal abuser will consistently seek to exercise dominance and control. An abuser may tell the partner what he feels and what his motivations are.

He will declare that her thoughts are wrong and that her opinions and accomplishments mean nothing. The emotional abuse can sometimes manifest as criticism in the form of a joke. An abuser may attempt to control communication by delaying discussion through denial or by changing the subject. When confronted by the victim, the abuser consistently denies what he did or said. Both verbal abusers and victims usually have grown up in emotionally abusive homes. Typically, the victim has some sort of sympathetic figure in her childhood, so she develops empathy.

The verbal abuser does not develop this empathy, so he feeds on the victim weaknesses.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition

For the purpose of feeling powerless in his childhood, often creates a need to dominate others. It reflects our growing knowledge of verbal abuse--one of the worst forms of abuse anyone can experience in any ongoing relationship or association. It serves as a link to resources and information about verbal abuse. The site will grow and change as we gather information.

Indeed, it was only as recently as that verbally abusive relationships were named and described. Contribute We invite you to contribute to our collective knowledge and resources.

It's Time to Talk about Psychological and Verbal Abuse - Lizzy Glazer - TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover

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the verbally abusive relationship book

To exit any of the following links please hit your back button. This book helped me to get my head out of the mud and see some important truths. Most importantly, knowing that there wasn't something inherently wrong with me changed my life. My anxiety is slowly disappearing and I am learning to actually enjoy life more.

Now, to the nitty gritty: It focused way too much energy on villainizing "abusers.

the verbally abusive relationship book

Patricia Evans spent a lot of energy saying that most abusers cannot and will not change because they are fundamentally bad. My religious sentiments reject that completely.

It's comforting to a victim of verbal abuse to feel like they are completely innocent while that other person is the bad guy.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans [Book Summary] - LEAPESSENCE

I don't buy it. Every person is complex and difficult to understand. Best to leave it at that. Another important point is that this book is extremely sexist. She has one line saying that she's just using men as an example, although men or women can be verbally abusive. That one line doesn't erase the fact that the rest of the book is man-bashing and discriminatory. I foresee fewer men than women ever giving this book much respect.

Also, this book was really repetitive. I think it could have been half as long and explained the fundamental ideas fully. That wouldn't have sold as well, however. So you gotta do what you gotta do, eh?

I would encourage anybody who wants to read this book to do so with a VERY open mind, trying to decide for themself what is true and what is trite.

the verbally abusive relationship book

I found some basic truths but they were wedged in with a bunch of junk, in my opinion. Still, I'm grateful for what I learned and how it started me on a very healthy pathway.

the verbally abusive relationship book

So I recommend it to others--with caveats firmly in place.