BBC Religion & Ethics - What happens when Muslims and Christians tie the knot?
I am a Muslim girl, twenty years old, and I am in love with a foreign Christian man who does not speak Arabic. End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/). We advise this woman to end her relationship with that Christian. It goes without saying that the marriage of a Muslim woman to a allowed to get married to a non Muslim woman, mainly a Christian or a Jew. A Muslim woman set to marry a Christian man worries about their different religions. Mariella Frostrup I have never been particularly religious, but my family is Muslim – though quite liberal. . Relationships · Dear Mariella.
It makes sense that so many of us dream, initially at least, that we will find true love with a person who shares the same religious label, because we think it means they have walked the same religious path that we have. We naturally look for someone who has made the same leaps of faith, who has gone through the same internal transformation, who nods along knowingly as we describe our indescribable connection to something invisible.
We imagine someone who gets us, who shares the same truth or God or gods that we do, or, perhaps, who has uttered the same denials as us, or who remains as steadfastly unsure about the meaning of it all as we ourselves are.
The assumption here is that sharing the same religion is a shortcut to deeper unity. But praying the same words in the same order, or reading the same sacred book through and through again, or singing the same songs are not necessarily a gateway to a meaningful connection.
Each journey of faith is unique and personal. No two believers are alike. And, as anyone in any relationship will tell you, no two people are alike. Everyone has their own views, opinions and convictions, regardless of their chosen religion or lack of one. Some relationships are interfaith, but all relationships are inter-belief. What is that necessary and sufficient factor? We have found that it is far more important to share the same values than the same religion.
It is true that some values are associated more closely with certain religion affiliations.
But values do not just take root inside a person as a result of their religion, of how they have chosen to describe or name or worship God. We choose our values because of myriad factors: Our values shape us, as our journeys through life — and our journeys through faith — play out. In faith, as in love, we leap. We whisper holy words, words that hold power, maybe magic. We pilgrimage across whatever distances necessary.
We experience the ineffable.
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But I let that picture fade away over the years. Writing about this decision is something I have been itching to write about for years. But I have never been itching to share it. So rather than explain this choice, I will try to tell my story. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard.
But for now — let me take you right back to the start. And for me it starts with the search of God. The search for God is a reversal of the normal, mundane wordly order.
Human sexuality and relationships
In the search for God, you revert from what attracts you and swim towards that which is difficult. When I understood that, when I comprehended that, more than that, when I internalised that, ingested that, I became courageous. People who knew me prior and still know me now could probably attest this.
I stopped living to please people. I started to become honest with my feelings and myself.
What does the Qur’an say about the interfaith marriage?
And in the vain of honesty — the true reason why I had wanted to marry a Christian guy was because it just sounded right. People would look at us and think we have all our shit together.
And that feeling of admiration from others — I wanted that. I wanted to be the status quo but the truth is, that when you follow God, there is no such thing as being the status quo. God now have a divine place in MY life. When my husband came into my life, he not only knew this but he understood this and wanted to help me on this journey.
But God knew I n-e-e-d-e-d this love. I legitimately do not believe that he would have wanted me to turn it away. Love is very strong, stronger than we can even fathom. This is what happened to me. It still humbles me that this force that makes leaves and fleas and stars and rivers and you, loves me.