How was rameck mothers and grandmothers relationship

The Bond by Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, Rameck Hunt | assistancedogseurope.info: Books

The Pact by Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, Rameck Hunt and Lisa Frazier Page. Buy . “How can a mother's pleas compete with the thrill of having wads of cash handed to you How did family relationships influence these boys' lives? Rameck's grandmother tries to teach him a tough lesson when she takes back the. Questions: How was Rameck's mother's and grandmother's relationship? When and why did Arlene have Rameck? How would you describe Rameck's parents?. He has an illiterate mother and his parents got divorced when he was Rameck, Sam, & George were born and raised in Newark, New Jersey.

When I decided to make the leap to college and professional school—a time when I needed him most—that hands-off approach continued. I watched mom wear herself out working a number of jobs at a time so I could concentrate on my studies. That created a lot of resentment in me toward my dad over the years. He and I would talk on the phone occasionally, and the conversations were always friendly and warm. But miles separated us—a distance he seemed to have no interest in bridging—so no matter how pleasant the conversation, there was nothing on which to build a father-son bond.

The Pact By Drs. Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, and Rameck Hunt

After all, hardly any of my friends had fathers, either. As a grown man, I know better. When we decided to write this book, I stalled, switched gears, and for a time stopped writing altogether. It was hard to grasp how deeply I had buried things and how unwilling I was to disclose them.

The Pop I knew was present physically for my early years, but was an absentee father nonetheless. He was a very stoic man from the South, with a strong, solid demeanor that commanded respect. But his relationship with my mom was incredibly volatile, and domestic violence in our household—on both their parts—was the norm. Added to that was the wear and tear of trying to raise a family of six on a meager income amid the land mines of inner-city Newark. There was never an attempt on his part to open himself up so I could ask him the questions every boy wants to ask his dad: What do I do in this or that social situation?

Do I make eye contact? How much do I ask? How little should I ask? What about girls and dating and sex? Those three words would have meant the world. Even doing something as simple as going fishing with him would have been wonderful, because it would have allowed me to get to know him on a more personal level. They always talked about how great and kind and giving he was.

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As I researched his life story for the book, I learned for the first time that he had courted my stepmother for roughly ten years before they married—from the time I was about four. In essence, he had left me to fend for myself after his marriage to my mom soured and he headed off in search of love.

Sampson, you make it pretty clear that both your parents contributed to the turmoil, anger, and bitterness in their marriage. She was in the trenches fighting alongside us. I do wish they had learned to resolve their arguments in a more suitable manner as the years went by and tensions between them continued to build.

Your children are you. They copy your behavior. With mom and dad fighting all the time, he followed the same pattern in his relationships. Rameck, what about your experience with fatherlessness as a child? You see, I arrived sort of gift-wrapped in scandal.

My dad—who was in college at the time—had two girlfriends competing for his attention—my mom and another girl—and he got both of them pregnant. My half sister and I were born eighteen days apart. About a year later he was arrested for armed robbery. He had become addicted to heroin while on a Christmas break from school. It was the first of several prison stints, ranging from eighteen months to two years. The memories I have of him are memories of the prison, where Mom took me for regular visits.

I grew up thinking that that was his home, that he lived in a faraway dormitory. Did you feel a lot of animosity toward your dad? No, I never did. As long as I got to see him every once in a while, it was enough. In my world, daddies were kind of an oddity anyway. It was the rare kid who had one in his life.

The thing about my dad was, he really wanted to do better. He wanted to be there for my sister and me. He knew it was going to be difficult, but he was constantly battling his addiction. And even though he had this problem, he made me feel, at least in some sense, that I was a priority. Ultimately, however, you built a better relationship with him. How were you able to put that resentment aside?

Time and distance and the struggle for an education made it a little easier. Once I started to let some of my resentment go, I was able to talk to him more and ask some of the difficult questions I had always wanted to ask. And the more we communicated—the more I learned about what had happened to him and how things had ended up the way they had—the easier it was to continue letting go of that old resentment.

One of the messages we want to reinforce here is that despite the best of intentions on the part of our parents, sometimes things go wrong. And so I was able to deal with it better. For me it was a lot of small things: I just wish I had had the support that a father is supposed to give you. I never experienced that with my dad.

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And that never happened. How did you deal with it? And of course I relied on Sam and Rameck. We all leaned on each other. It was Rameck, for example, who taught me how to drive a stick shift.

All three of us talked to one another about relationships and anything else a father and son might talk about. We kind of raised one another and pushed one another along. I figure each of us had twenty-five percent of the experience that equaled out to about seventy-five percent of a father, and then we fudged the rest. There were two things I did to cope. As a preteen I found an awesome mentor in a guy named Reggie Brown. Age-wise he was more like an older brother, but in many ways he was my father figure.

He taught me how to drive and invested a great deal of time teaching me kung fu. Eventually, as a teenager, I turned more to the street—friends my age who were also wandering, trying to find themselves, trying to work out their own definition of what a man is supposed to be.

Unfortunately, on the street the definition of being a man often includes standing outside a bar or on a street corner drinking beer, staying out until all hours of the night, and not being accountable to your kids. The street supplied me with a lot of wrong answers, and as a result I got into a great deal of trouble. Was it as a kid, as a college student, or is it now as an adult? You almost have to be in denial about it in order to accomplish what you want, or to keep it from eating at you.

I should add that there was one positive side effect of not having my dad around. Many of my friends spent an awful lot of time trying to please their fathers. Sam, Rameck, and I felt we were making choices for ourselves. We were our own men. We were chasing the dream because we wanted to, not because we had to. I strongly felt the void in high school, and even more so in college. College was foreign territory to me, and I remember being envious of classmates who would show up at school functions with their dads and moms.

It was as if they knew everything was going to be okay. I was strictly on my own. I always felt I was hanging on by a thread and if it got any thinner I would fall. I had to learn about sex from my friends. I can do bad by myself. As many others have pointed out, in our culture it started way back when we came to this country as slaves.

Bought and sold, bred as cattle—the nuclear family was not part of our experience here. We tried to rebuild the nuclear family and adopt it once we got out of slavery, but the community was so seriously damaged.

By the time the s rolled around, things had gotten better. There was a sense of pride in the black community. Everyone wore Afros; the Black Power movement was a potent force; the black female was someone to be respected.

Over time, however, the tables turned. Things were different after the riots. Music started to change. Culture started to change. It was okay to be a macho guy. Sampson, when the three of you originally envisioned this book, you planned for your fathers to each have their own chapter, so that they could tell their life stories in their own words. Three years ago he was walking, talking, having full conversations. By the time we got around to writing the book, he was no longer able to tell his own story.

He passed away just recently. Rameck, in his chapter your father writes about a significant moment: Why was that significant for you? By age twelve I was the caregiver for everyone in my family.

I became a surrogate dad to my little sister. And then I became the dad to my dad. Needless to say, I always wanted my parents to get better. Mom consistently denied she had a drug habit. My dad, at least, faced up to it and tried to beat it. It was a pattern that repeated itself again and again, and it put me on an emotional roller coaster.

Getting that poem from him felt prophetic. I knew deep in my soul that this time he was going to make it. I knew he was never going to relapse again. And I was right, he never did. But teachers like Miss Johnson, who nurtured and inspired George, were less prevalent than those who " They expected and accepted mediocrity or less, and unfortunately, we usually gave no more.

To what degree are teachers—and students—to blame for this situation? Does the book suggest any ways to improve the system? Go over each groups roles, duties, expectations. If the EOP program that gave these three young men a chance at college—and the hundreds of other programs like it—didn't exist, do you think they would have succeeded anyway? George ends the book sitting at his desk, watching teenagers outside, wondering: Where are the cops? After reading this book, what do you conclude is required to enable other young people in rough environments to achieve?

Who is ultimately responsible for providing those opportunities? Search the internet for Dr. Martin Luther King Jrs. Compare and contrast the dream in both these literary pieces. Select two of the following extensions activities. One must be a writing activity; the other may be a writing or an art activity.

Your graphic design company is selected to promote the movie. Design a poster or perhaps a website to advertise The Pact. Briefly outline the rationale for your design and its relation to the original story. Visit the Three Doctors Foundation website via the following link: Using your knowledge of the power of a persuasive essay, compose a speech asking your audience for funding to support The Three Doctors Foundation.

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Research themes that are played out in the lyrics of Hip Hop music. Reread Chapter 5 and Chapter 6. What message does Rameck reveal about his own family? Compose a Rap song that illustrates the same message. Design your own book cover for The Pact. Then write a pitch to your publisher me, the teacher on why you choose your design? What message will your cover convey?

Why you this be the next cover for the book? If you were to email The Three Doctors at: Create such an email in written format. With your group decide how the monies will be budgeted to meet the needs of your community. Be prepared to present the budget. Graffiti is an art form that evolved in the culture of the street. It carries a powerful message portrayed in art. Segment 4 Final Reflections 1.

Has your view or definition of the word success changed? How are the experiences that the three young men faced during their teenage years similar to those faced by teens today?

How are they different? What extra challenges did they face as teenagers? Young people who have no social outlets, no place to go for fun or to play sports often tend to get into trouble as Sampson and Rameck did.

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What can be done to solve this problem? Why do the doctors feel that forming a pact is so important? Do you agree or disagree? If you were to form a pact, what characteristics would you yourself look for in others? What positive traits would you bring to the pact?

Choose one of the following quotes and answer the food for thought questions a. Look for those moments and grab on to the possibilities. George Jenkins Food for thought: Think about events in your own life that have been life-changing. How have these moments helped to make you a better person? It also makes you a leader.

Rameck Hunt Food for thought: What does it mean to be a leader? Do you consider yourself to be a leader? To be a leader, you need to be focused. How do you manage to stay focused? Sampson Davis Food for thought: How have others positively influenced your life? Failure was not an option for me. It never was and never will be. Think about times when you were about to give up on something; it can be as simple as working on a school project.

What kept you from quitting? How can this lesson be applied to your future endeavors? How do you plan on being successful this year in my classroom?